How to create a fun vacuum

Simply take: 50 people that you spend time with only because you are paid to Your boss Free alcohol Ice skating mix vigorously and try to avoid getting either fired or so depressed that you throw yourself onto the ice in an attempt to commit chilly suicide at the feet of a colleague. I was quite happy to hear the anticipatory chatter as everyone got excited about the free drink (as though some acidic wine and weak beer were going to bestow magical properties upon an evening's entertainment) but the morning after is awash with tales of vomit on the bus, German sausage and the peculiar belief that I would be regretting my decision not to come. I have tried to keep to myself the fact that I would rather be rolled in squid and fed to carnivorous sea-beasts to preserve some element of conviviality with my colleagues, but it's only a matter of time before I make free with the shittily decorated chocolate logs and choke someone to death with plastic holly.