Mr Punch

After a previous post where I lamented the fact that I was unable to locate any information regarding the bizarre musical performance of the story of Mr Punch that I was involved in as a child. To my incredible good fortune, when going through a box of stuff from my younger years (and discovering that chocolate does not survive well in a loft) I found the single A4 sheet that was given to me with the lyrics to all the songs, and in the interest of preserving them for posterity I thought I would faithfully reproduce them here (including some of the peculiar punctuation): Punch's Triumph Song Punch is a jolly fellow, His coat is of red and yellow, And if now and then he's mellow, It's only among his friends. Punch is a rogue and rover; He lives, while he can, in clover For life very soon is over And there the story ends If you approve him Punch is happy If you admire him Punch is gay Lend him an ear and he'll amuse you In a delightful Punch-like way. When you have heard the story Of Punch in all his glory The more you applaud The more he Will know That you mean to show Whether high or low You are all his Good and faithful friends. Devil's Song I'm a very devil of a fellow, You can see that I'm a devil of a guy. There's no hope of slipping thro' my fingers, Be advised by me and do not even try Though you may not think it, You and I see eye to eye. Fires of hell are roasting wicked sinners, And the flames are leaping very very high. Can't escape your final destination, Be advised by me and never, never try. Though you'll not believe it, You will soon be Devil's pie! Scaramouch's Fiddle Song I play on my fiddle: Lala la, lala la, lala lala lala la, la-la My song is a riddle: Lala la, lala la, lala lala lala la, la-la I do not play high, I do not play low I don't need a string and I don't need a bow No end to my song, no beginning - and yet My song is a song that you'll never forget. Judy's Lullaby Rock-a-by baby, in the tree top The wind it will blow and the cradle will rock, The bough will break and the cradle will fall And then down will come baby and cradle and all. Doctor's Song In the exercise of his profession Every Doctor shows his skill, Searching out among the nooks and crannies All the viruses and germs that make you ill Is it here? No! Is it there? No! Well it's all the same to me. If you kill or if you cure 'em, Patients all must pay the Doctor's fee. Diagnosing of a human illness Is a hit or miss affair While the Doctors sit around and ponder All the patients' lives are hanging by a hair. Does it hurt there? No! Well it's all the same to me. If you kill or if you cure 'em, Patients all must pay the Doctor's fee. Policeman's Song and Duet (Judy) The arm of the law is never, never, never-never wrong The arm of the law is very, very, very-very strong The arm of the law is very very long, and quite infallible. The arm of the law has a very, very good grip The arm of the law will never, never, never let you slip The arm of the law will make the smartest villain trip And quite betray himself. And justice will be done. The arm of the law should be regarded as a friend. The arm of the law will get you in the end, For that is the charm of the law. Interlude Song Here lies Punch in a dungeon deep, Sing a song to cheer and comfort him. All his friends sit around and weep At the fate that's hanging over him. Poor old Punch! Hangman's' Song An eye for an eye A tooth for a tooth. This is the hangman's One and only notion of truth. Stand at the scaffold. Look at the rope. Even the jolly hangman Now is lost for a joke. Here comes the coffin, Here comes the hearse Your situation's rather grievous. Down in the quicklime Deep in the earth, Dust, bones and ash is all you'll leave us. Are you prepared, sir? Don't you be scared, sir. Close both your eyes and try my rope for size. Punch's Triumph Song Stand up and shout Hooray, For Punch he has won the day; A hero bold in every way, And no-one can deny it. Stand up and give a cheer For Punch, who, without a fear, Triumphantly is standing here. So loudly let us cry it. Though fate will lay him low, Surround him with every foe, He scorns them all and so There's nothing can defy him. Therefore: Now that you've heard the story of Punch in all his glory The more you applaud the more you will know That you mean to show, whether high or low, You are all his Good and faithful friends.