Wild success

Well, the advent of my blog in February was supposed to herald a new era of organisation and dedication to the cause of marking the important, and not so important, moments of my life. Clearly, the six month break between posts demonstrates that I may well have been in bit hasty in declaring this a success (or that I have lead a very boring life over the last half a year. However, I feel as though I have been thwarted by...well...my lack of organisation really, but mostly the fact that I got really confused about which account I was using, and kept thinking 'I really must sort this out soon' every time I failed to post on here due to not being able to remember either my password or my e-mail address. Now that I am back, I am using this as an outlet for all the stuff in my head which has been allowed to fester, send out spores and create a kind of soup. These things can be roughly divided into categories: 1. The wedding This is not really a source of stress - things are not as complicated as everyone makes them out to be, but there are certain things I need to do for it which I am apparently only capable of thinking about when there is nothing I can do about them, which just clutters up brain space which could be chilling out. 2. The day-to-day admin crap of life Have the people who owe me money put it into my account, or have they just gone silent on me in the hope I won't notice the thousands of pounds worth of missing money? Why didn't Tesco give me my 5p off a litre of fuel voucher with my last delivery? That kind of crap that just needs sorting out and only takes a few seconds to do, but keeps getting put off because I can't be arsed to ring up/check/argue with someone etc. 3. Maintaining my social life This is a two parter - one the one hand, the physical side of actually seeing people, inviting them round, going out etc. The problem with being part of a couple who are generally quite chilled out and disorganised is that we tend to only realise we have no plans for the weekend on Thursday night at the earliest. By this point, it is not unreasonable to expect everyone else to have already made plans, meaning we end up staying in. This is not a problem - there are few things I would rather do than stay in with the Boy Wonder - but it does feel a little bit like every other night that we sit on the sofa watching CSI (or the celebrated FX channel which we have sporadically), meaning that a weekend can slip by like an extended weeknight with big breakfasts in between. The other aspect of this is my personal friendships with people that I don't see frequently. I am terribly unreliable, and blessed with friends who are tolerant of this, but it doesn't make me feel good to always start every e-mail with an apology for getting back to them so late. I am such a natural talker that even the convenience of an e-mail doesn't really do it for me, making me slow to respond, and then I don't say half of what I wanted because I think it's cheeky to leave it so long and then send a whopper and expect someone to be interested for three pages (c.f this blog). This does weigh on my mind and I feel guilty for it, but apparently not enough to do anything about it. I know that it is stupid to have a night where I answer every e-mail I have and then a month before I get round to responding to the replies! 4. The World On my more hippy days I think 'Live a good life - that's all you can do' but on the occasional bad day I feel as though my anger at the money-hungry, oil grabbing, morally bankrupt idiots who are allowed to be in charge is just an echo of everyone who has ever been in my position railing at the tyrants and bigots of their day, and wonder whether it is human nature to be so self-destructive as a species and things will never change, just the issues. I'm sure there are probably more categories of things that are in my head, but these are the only ones I can identify at the moment. I will be back soon...