Two words I love

Having spent last Thursday night entertaining a friend and his new Lithuanian squeeze, I am now the proud owner of a new facourite word. I neither speak nor write Lithuanian, but the rough pronunciation of this word is 'Ooshbackalooka', and one of the best things about it is that it means 'arse'. Not just any 'Oh arse, I've smashed my foot into a wicker basket and it's swollen up to twice its normal size' - it is not to be used in any context other than appreciation, such as 'That's a lovely Ooshbackalooka you've got there', which is an excellent way to complement someone whether they speak Lithuanian or not. My other new favourite is 'Asshat' although my affection is tinged with sadness as I fear I will never be able to use it in spoken conversation on account of my not being American. It is one of the things I find most cringy about this country - our inability to break out of our traditional toff pronunciation of 'arse' with a long 'ahh'. When hard-core slapstick show 'Jackass' hit these shores, I was initially entertained, then saddened and embarassed by the way people managed to strangle the pronunciation, coming up with 'Jack-ahhhse' and making themselves sound like tools. However, the beauty of 'ass-hat' is that it is as, if not more, effective written down as well as lending itself to the creation of other related parts of speech such as 'ass-hattery' and 'ass-hattage'. It also manages to combine amusing and insulting in perfect proportion, making it the perfect word to use when you want to draw someone's attention to the fact that they have just said or done something stupid, but you don't want to rest your judgement of them as a complete moron until they have had a chance to redeem themselves. Laughing at being called an ass-hat would be a good start.