Ageism

When the sun shines and the days are long, it seems pointlessly perverse to continue the winter tradition of staying in bed till it gets dark watching TV, so I make more valiant efforts than usual to scour our hand-delivered copy of our local parish magazine for events that might get us out of the house and encourage us to appreciate our local environs. Usually there are plenty of activities that suit my requirements for entertainment and learning, but without fail I find myself thwarted and angry when I read the 'small print' and discover that pond dipping is only for accompanied children, that bug spotting is for under 9s, and that only families are welcome to come along to 'spring fun' featuring biscuit decorating, ladybird hats and other stimulating-sounding fun. I feel aggrieved that this kind of thing is only for kids - I'm sure I could turn up, but a) I'm not sure the Boy Wonder would want to be the only 30 year old accompanying his 28 year old wife to an event intended for small children so I would have to go on my own and b) Kids ruin stuff when you're trying to have fun - they scare animals, make noise, get leakage on stuff I might want to touch and generally demand that they should be at the front/first to go whenever something good happens, so people like me are supposed to 'hold back' and let them, even if I have been waiting longest. So screw kids, and screw the people who put on events which even have a suggested age group - all I want is to crouch down and poke around looking at bugs and pond life without people acting as though I should have had enough of that when I was a kid.