Naughty Pets - Fish

There is either something about me or we are just really unlucky to have such badly behaved animals in our lives. Since the addition of the hedgehog, the Boy Wonder and I are responsible for a total of 6 animals - 3 fish, 2 rabbits and the aforementioned hedgehog. Technically, these are all my 'pets' (a hedgehog isn't really a pet, but as we will ultimately end up looking after him for 6 months, he counts) but the Boy Wonder does some of the cleaning and feeding work as well, though he lays the blame for their naughtiness squarely at my door. I would previously have argued that fish cannot be naughty, or that rabbits must surely have a limited ability to perform acts of evil, but now I know better. So, to catalogue the trail of destruction that tank-living fish can wreak: 1. Upsetting Mental Health/Spatial Awareness problems All the fish I have had since I went tropical 8 years ago (courtesy of the Boy Wonder - he is not entirely without blame!) have had a suicidal misunderstanding of the limits of their environment - they have jumped out of the tank into laundry baskets, onto the floor and the ancient Silver and Dollar who currently reside in my tank are notorious for headbutting the lid of the tank when excited about their dinner. 2. Pretending to be dead Ronnie, the 8 year old plecostomus who has moved house with us three times and refused to leave the tank each time necessitating vastly complicated tank moving scenes where being able to have removed all the water would really have helped, regularly pretends to be dead. He is quite shy, and as such is quite sensitive to any noise or movement in the room, which normally results in him shooting under a log to hide. However, when the house is quiet, he arranges himself in a variety of unhealthy poses, ranging from the subtlety of sideways drifting to make me think there's a problem with his swim bladder to full on lying belly up on the surface of the water in an astonishingly good impression of a completely dead fish. 3. Ungrateful destruction of gifts When I first got the fish tank I decorated it with lovely fresh plants and within a week of having fish in there, they had eaten them all. I bought more, they ate them, and so now we have a tank full of delightful/garish plastic plants which they tolerate. I think their ingratitude was best manifested when I bought them toy jellyfish - they were lovely little plastic bulb-shaped items which floated in the tank suspended from fishing line attached to a rock at the bottom. I put them in the tank one evening and by the next morning they were floating listlessly around the bottom of the tank with their fishing line caught up in the plastic plants, their anchor rocks failing to blend with the existing gravel. So, that's how fish can be naughty and I haven't even started on the others yet...