Plarguments

I am vaguely aware that some couples play fight, but the Boy Wonder and I are way too clumsy to even attempt that without the whole affair ending in genuine injury, which kind of negates the whole point of the 'play' element of play fighting. Instead, we have play arguments or 'plarguments' as I have christened them, which more often than not end with one of us threatening to punch the other in the face or poke them in the eye.

I sometimes worry that when we do this outside the house, we run the risk of being overheard and that someone might only hear the end part whereupon they could be forgiven for thinking that we are intending to throw down and fully explore the limits of an abusive relationship once we get back home and can let our middle class rage out without embarrassing ourselves. So far nobody has ever approached us to ensure that we aren't about to do injury to one another, but it may only be a matter of time.

I also worry that if anything were ever to happen to one of us, although I'm sure our friends would tell the authorities that we were very happy together, under more prolonged questioning, one of them might let slip that they have heard us threatening to smack one another in the faceholes and start considering the other as a suspect. Having said that, I'm also worried at what a CSI team would find under our sofa, so maybe a little distraction would buy me enough time to whip round with a hoover.